Have Name Will Search

After recently ending a three year relationship last year, I like many single ladies my age, dove into the world of online dating.  How exciting it was to receive a flood of winks and email notifications to my phone.  I would have to jump on and constantly and immediately click “who’s viewed you”!  Email conversations start rolling along.  Finding out more and more about this stranger (yes ladies, he may cute and say all the right things in his profile…but he is a stranger).  What kind of music, movies, and sports does he like?  Does he eat sushi (my personal favorite question to ask…if no, it’s a deal breaker)? 

At this point in the process you are usually just working on a first name basis.  Do you even think to ask this man his last name?   No, the truth is that most of us don’t.  I can tell you that I was guilty of this last year.  I was new to the game and caught up in the excitement of this new world of online window shopping for guys.  I couldn’t get over the fact that I was picking and choosing who to flirt with from the comfort of my computer at home and (don’t tell my boss) at work.  I think I would say to myself, “self, he seems really nice and damn he is super cute, you can totally trust him”. 

I happened to go over to a friend’s house for dinner the day before my first date with screen name adorable12345 (or whatever it may have been).  I was telling her and her mother about all the guys I was chatting with and the dates that I had planned.  Well her mother immediate said to me “have you looked him up online to find if he has any criminal history”?  

S-T-O-P….hold the phone!  Why hadn’t I thought of this before?  Apparently I was too busy shopping to actually research what I was buying. 

So from that day forward, I started asking all the guys I was talking to for their last names.  I made it clear that I looked everyone up that I may possibly go out with.  Most are cool with the idea.  The majority say that I will only find things about their divorce, which for the most part is correct.  Some though don’t like to give the information up.  I always find this interesting.  So I find clever ways to figure it out. 

Once I have figured it out though, it’s on like donkey kong. 

Step I – Facebook search

Step 2 – Google is my best friend

Step 3 - http://www.intelius.com

 Step 4 - I enter their name into the Maryland Judiciary Case Search (http://casesearch.courts.state.md.us/inquiry/inquiry-index.jsp ).  This is the best tool that you can use to find out what you are getting yourself into. 

Let’s run down the list of what I have come across shall we?  These are my favorites but in no particular order:

1.       Peace Order

2.       DUI

3.       DWI

4.       Trespassing

5.       Possession(I would be ok with this if it happened 10 years ago, not within the last two years)

6.       Possession with intent to distribute

7.       Assault (1^st and 2^nd degree)

8.       Domestic violence

9.       Aggravated assault

10.   Assaulting an officer

11.   Burglary

12.   Uttering False Documents (I don’t know what this means but it sounds bad)

13.   Theft

14.   Child support enforcement

15.   Domestic violence***

*****AND THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE*****

I met a guy online that after we talked a few times he finally gave me his full name.  So I did my usual searches and I found……..

http://badbadteacher.com/joseph-ellis/

(1/07/08 – Initial BBT Report)
Joseph Samuel Ellis, 25, a former history and government teacher at Glenelg High School in Glenelg, Maryland accused of having inappropriate sexual contact with several students pleaded guilty today to one count of displaying obscene materials to a minor.
Ellis will face trial this week on charges of sex abuse of a minor, indecent exposure, telephone misuse and two counts of a fourth-degree sex offense.
The charge to which Ellis pleaded guilty today carries a maximum punishment of one year in prison, a $1,000 fine or both. Sentencing on the charge to which Ellis pleaded guilty will take place following his trial on the remaining charges.
Ellis admitted today that on December 17, 2006 he sent six sexually explicit photos to the e-mail account of a 17-year-old female student.
Police arrested Ellis in January 2007 upon allegations from students accusing him of various crimes including exposing himself to a student in a classroom, sending suggestive computer messages to another and persuading a third to meet him at a park with the promise of alcohol.
In April 2007 Ellis was fired by the Howard County Board of Education.

WTF - This dude joined Match five days after getting out of jail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Now I know that convicted sex offenders need love to...but really?????

Ladies I love to shop online.  Clothing, shoes, jewelry, books…you name it, I buy it.  All of the above are available instantly with a few strokes of my fingers and clicks of my mouse.  However, before I click purchase, I always read the reviews.  I do a little research on the item in question.  Since these online dating sites don’t come with customer reviews, feedback, or other items people have purchased suggestions, you have to think outside the box and find that information out on your own.

So next time you are window shopping for a man…make sure that you do a little research and find out if he is really worth the cost.