I always love to hear my guy friends talk about girls that they have dated or are currently dating. Since my guy friends pretty much think I am just like a dude, they usually have diarrhea of the mouth and tell me everything. I hear about sex, conversations, funny things that their girls have said and of course my favorite…when these girls start to get clingy.
Usually the term “clinger” is given to someone who wants all of your time. You can’t do anything on your own because you have to spend all of your time with them.
Stage one is just your basic everyday female. Yes ladies, even though we HATE the term. All of us live in a constant state of Stage 1. Not being a lady basher, (since I am one of course) just stating a fact of life. Love it or hate it, it’s the damn truth and I am not afraid to admit it. For some reason, we can’t just sit back and wait to hear from a guy we just met.
Stage 2 kicks it up a notch. At this stage, the female that you just met is always trying to make plans with you. Not just plans for tomorrow night or the upcoming weekend….no, no…but for a time in the distant future. I will admit that this is a little extreme when you first meet someone. So gentlemen beware…and don’t say that I didn’t warn you.
Stage 3 is the category that the majority of us females fall into. We are looking for a little praise, recognition and flattery in small doses here and there. We text in the morning a sweet “hey, good morning” or “have a great day”, just to let you know that we are thinking about you. An afternoon text may be tossed in there just to say hi and keep us fresh in your mind. Last but not least, even if we talk to you in the evening, you will still get the final “good night” or “sweet dreams” text.
Now it should be easy to identify a clinger early on. Clinginess is naturally occurring and just in our nature. Sorry guys, love it or hate it, if you want a female in your life for the other obviously reasons (pleasures) you are going to have to learn to deal.
If your lady is going above and beyond the average allowed messages (as stated above) for the day, she may be classified as a Stage 4. Guys, you know this one, when you don’t respond right away she texts or calls again over and over. If she doesn’t get a response, her tone may change to mean, nasty, bitchy or just plain crazy. She is resourceful in finding out your location and your every move. She is always suspicious of what you are doing, who you are with and if you a currently in bed with another female. This woman would even go as far as to stalk your location, drive by your house or try to come over uninvited for a “surprise” visit. Stage 4 = run…PERIOD!! When you get fed up and you try to end things, she can do nothing but confess her love and affection for you.
Some of you guys out there though are glutens for punishment. I am not sure what it is. I don’t know if you just love pussy that much that you would do anything for it or if you just don’t know how to say no. But what I do know is that if you find yourself in the presence of a Stage 5 clinger…you are totally FUCKED…and not in the good way! A Stage 5 will do everything in her power to plan her life around you. This will happen really early on. She will go to end to make you hers…FOREVER. There will be talk of marriage, kids and future almost right away. My advice… Abort, Abandon Ship, Abort, Run!!!!
The majority of the time “clinger” is used to describe females, but in my experience, guys can also fall into this category. The stages may not quite follow the same pattern, but trust me, they aren’t far off.
I have bit of a curse that has plagued me for about fifteen years now. Some people think that I am blessed, but I always have to disagree. It has become a running joke over the years amongst my friends and me. What is this curse you ask? Guys fall in love with me in a matter of days or weeks. Crazy right! That is what I always say. My response is usually always the same “you love me, what? You don’t even know me”. As soon as they profess that early I bolt. It makes no sense to me that someone could possibly have feelings that strong so fast. I usually think that they are an MO (mentally off) or just really desperate to fill a void. Personally I don’t find desperate attractive or see it as an appealing quality in a partner.
Since this happens to me so often, my friends always joke when I meet someone new. After a first date, I always get a call from my best friend Erika asking how things went. On day two, she always calls and asks me if I heard from him and then she slips in her famous line “is he is love yet”. We always share a chuckle.
Why is it funny to make a joke at this dudes expense? Why, because guys like this have clinger written all over them. Right now you are probably asking yourself why bolt, you should be flattered. The reason is so simple, just eludes a lot of us. There is NO such thing as love at first sight. I know shocker right! The mistake that most people make is confusing love with lust.
Personally, I tend not to fall very fast at all. To me it is a process that takes time. If someone is really in love with me, then it will be worth the wait. They don’t need to go all stage 5 and scare me awayJ
Just remember, if you see the signs, I say bolt. Mama’s two cents, take it how you will.
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