With Valentine’s Day rapidly approaching, the talk of dates, gifts and love is engulfing me like the smoke from a five alarm fire. Since I am not in the mood this year, all I am doing is choking on that smoke. However, since I am still a fan of love and I don’t begrudge anyone happiness, I will put my feelings aside and get down to writing about it.
This is the first year since elementary school that I haven’t had a ValentineL Hence why I am not really in the “mood”. Over the years I have had guys that have done everything right or everything wrong…because when it comes to this day there seemingly is no middle ground. However, since I am an equal opportunity basher of both sexes nothing will be different in talking about the right and wrong things men and women do on Valentine’s Day.
Guys let’s start with you. Let’s face it, the majority of you out there just don’t think of Valentine’s Day as important. It’s just another day and you don’t see the point of going out of your way to do something special for your significant other. I get that. It is a commercialized holiday that is out there to keep Hallmark in business. However, it does mean something to us ladies. So humor us every February 14th….please!
So guys where do you go wrong? Most common mistakes I see are below….
1. Nada
#1 Mistake guys make is not getting anything or doing anything special for their lady love. I will warn you that you will NEVER live this down if it happens. A woman scorned is a nasty thing. BTW saying “I forgot” is a crock. There are hearts everywhere, not to mention TV, radio and internet ad’s and commercials. “I forgot” doesn’t work in this case. Ever!!! Also, giving the excuse “you don’t need anything. It’s the words that count, and I love you”. Yea, that one doesn’t work either.
2. Stuffed Animals Are For Kids and Last Minute “Excuses For a Gift” are Not Tolerated
When I was younger I had my fair share of stuffed animals that overtook my bed leaving very little room for me. However, I am a 30 year old woman. I have no need to cuddle with a toy teddy bear at my age. I would rather have a warm body in my bed. Getting a teddy bear with a cute little heart on it does not say mature love, it says cheap/quick/thoughtless/last minute gift to shut me up. When you do forget and remember when you are five minutes away from meeting your significant other, NEVER stop at a gas station, pharmacy or 7-11 to grab something quick. Stale $.99 chocolates, a silk rose or cheap heart stuffed animal doesn’t cut it. It makes you look like an idiot.
3. Flower Power
Not every woman out there loves roses. This is a complete misconception. That is why the cost of roses goes up so much during the week of Valentine’s Day. They have long been associated with romance and love. However, they are cliché, expected and BORING! I for one don’t like roses at all. Find out what your ladies favorite flower of choice is. Bring that to her instead. It is a sweet gesture that means much more than getting your standard (way overpriced) dozen roses from the local grocery store or florist.
4. Chocolates
In case you guys are oblivious to how woman think (which I know you are), I will clue you in. Most women are uncomfortable with their weight. They worry about what they eat, where it will end up on their body and how much exercise they have to do to work it off. Don’t buy chocolates. We LOVE them. So we want to eat them, but we can’t. We do it anyway, and then we torture ourselves afterwards. Just avoid this gift all together and it will help cut down on us asking you all the time if we look fatJ
5. Dinner Doesn’t Require Reservations
Don’t get me wrong, I love a nice fancy dinner out every once in a while. However, Valentine’s Day is not ideal. Reservations fill up; restaurants are packed, overcrowded and bumping. This takes away from the romance of a cozy dinner out for two. Save the fancy night out for another occasion or just a random dinner night for no reason. My suggestion is to make an attempt to make dinner at home. If you can’t cook don’t stress it. Get a few bottles of wine; pick a recipe that you both love. Get everything at the store, and then make dinner together. One of the most romantic things that I love to do is cook dinner side by side. Put on some light music, and open the first bottle of wine while each of you takes a job in making the meal. You can take turns feeding each other while you are cooking just to make sure that it “tastes” right. Feel free to be extra flirty putting sauce on each other noses; licking lips to get the extra off; or if you are like me I love a flour fight that makes a mess to be cleaned off later in the shower together.
Ladies you aren’t escaping this blog scot-free. The guys aren’t all to blame for the epic fails that happen on Valentine’s Day. We constantly make the same mistakes over and over and expect a different outcome. In case you didn’t know…that is the definition of insanity ;)
Ladies Most Common Mistakes
1. Expecting An Over the Top Night From You Guy
Ladies you know your man. You love him for who he is. You know what he is capable of. Why is it that you expect him to go over and above what he has ever done to impress you on Valentine’s Day? What is it about this holiday that you think is going to make him SuperPerfect#1BoyfriendMan? Before he even does anything, you have already set yourself up to be disappointed.
2. Thinking That Your Guy is a Mind Reader
If your significant other asks you what you would like to do on Valentine’s Day, tell him. If you say “whatever you want to do honey” but you mean “I want to go to a fancy dinner, have you give me flowers and then make love all night” he is not going to hear all that. He isn’t a mind reader. I know you think he has this big plan to surprise you with this amazingly romantic night out of a fairytale, but truth is…he really is asking you because he wants to do what you want to make you happy. I don’t know why we females can’t wrap our heads this concept. It would alleviate so many headaches and heartache.
3. Going Over the Top and Expecting the Same
Ladies I have been guilty, just like the rest of you, over getting way too much for my guy. Going all out and spending too much. On top of buying him a gift I do something totally romantic and special for him to top it off. Then what? I expect the same extravagance from him. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!!! He doesn’t think like you. So don’t expect him to.
For some reason, Valentine’s Day has become a holiday filled with stress and anxiety to find that “perfect” gift. When cupid’s cute little baby butt shot you with that arrow he made you fall in love with your significant other 365 days a year. Valentine’s Day should be used as a special day to celebrate that love. No stress. No anxiety. No arguments. No disappointment. There has to be a middle ground that we ladies and gentlemen can find to make it a good day all around for everyone. Guys make a little effort, ladies hold back a little bit. The point is to enjoy each other and remind the other that you love them. So simple, so easy, so romantically perfect.
So this year when you are in the midst of a sea of red and pink hearts, just remember that cupid only wears a diaper, it’s doubtful that he carries a wallet in there to spend a lot of money on his lady loveJ
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